Been thinking lately about women and how they relate to love/emotions.

I think many women do one of the following:

1)Fall in love with an idea – create an image in their minds of the perfect or almost-perfect person for them, go around looking for those qualities, then as soon as they see one or two of them combined think that the whole package is there, and so fall in love with an ideal instead of the actual person they’re fixating on.

2)Fall in love by default. They haven’t found the right person yet or the person God has appointed for them hasn’t yet appeared in their lives and so, unable to curb the longings and stifled emotions of their heart(for women were made for loving) they find an outlet for these emotions in someone close to them, one of the men in their lives who happens to be close to them or is always around or for one of a myriad of reasons comes to their attention at the right time. Proximity breeds intimacy, they say, and it’s true, and a heart full of any or all of the three L’s – longing, loneliness, and love – breeds falling in love, often in completely inappropriate ways/times or with the wrong people. Women’s emotions are often like a pool – they spread outward unrestrained from us and suck in whoever they happen to lap upon or find within radius. We put out feelers, unconsciously or not, and those waving feelers inevitably find someone and then we find ourselves attached to them almost without knowing how or why.

Often, of course, the two overlap and women take that idea of a man they have and insert it bodily on top of some male in proximity, wanting him to be “the one” since the right person hasn’t appeared yet.

We’re so often satisfied with less than what God has for us. We settle, and we give our hearts, souls, and minds(and sometimes bodies) away to men whom we’re not meant to give them to – pour out all that condensed, stifled passion in the wrong place, wrong time and to the wrong person – and it’s a tragedy.

“I charge you, O daughers of Jerusalem,” says the Shulamite,”by the gazelles or by the does of the field, do not stir up nor awaken love until it pleases.” Until it pleases – until it pleases God. And what God gives us as a gift will always please us because it’s the best thing for us, the thing best designed to bring us the greatest joy and sanctity. And it should not please us unless it’s what God has ordained. I think that most of the time we can tell the difference, in our heart of hearts at least, particularly if we’re really seeking God.

I’ve always been encouraged/admonished by this verse, but confused by the metaphor in it. Why “gazelles” and “does of the field”? Why does the Shulamite swear by/deliver such a strong admonishon based on such obscure/confusing imagery? Then it occurred to me tonight to ponder what sprang to mind when I thought of gazelles and does. And the first thing that sprang to mind was flight – the image that I immediately associate with gazelles and deer is of them running, fleeing lightly and very rapidly on their tiny feet away from hunters or rocks falling or whatever it is that deer flee from. Deer are easily startled and they run very fast. They’re also(particularly gazelles) delicate and fragile and beautiful, and their speed and instinct to flee is the only thing that keeps them alive, that keeps them safe. You see where I’m going with this. We should be characterized by flight, by keeping a distance. At the first sign of inappropriate love in our hearts or tangents toward a particular person we should flee(mentally and spiritually and if necessary physically) in the opposite direction. We should strive to remain free, to remain safe. We should be as easily sparked to flight as does of the field, running to protect something precious – our God-given sanctity and purity/passion until the right one comes along, the one God has given to us. Let us kick up our heels and leave behind our wayward dreams and hopes, our hopelessly longing hearts, and the men our desires cling to, and run the race God has given us to run, in grace and faith as women. Let us maintain our freedom, our singularity of heart. Keep running until the man God has ordained finds you, until the man comes along who, seeking after God, finds you, and the God in you.

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